Big Euro Adventure
Subj: Bootypest, Pantyhose & Dinner
Date: 8/1/2003 12:51:28 PM Eastern Daylight Time
So I get to B' pest by cruising the Danube.
Nice ride. Not your tra la la boat but this speedboat — the kind that goes up on stilts and shoots big plumes water. Kinda cool. It started out as a rainy morning in Bratislava then along the way the skies start to clear up. By the time we get to Budapest the sun was even out. The whole place has this pink glow.
Everyone on board is snapping away — it’s a very impressive entrance.
Found my digs pronto — Hotel Pilvax. It looked ok and I was outta there as fast as I checked in.
Budapest is total over-load on the visuals — an extroverts dream… or nightmare 'cause you're lookin' everywhere but straight ahead. Can’t count the number of times I ran into something or someone.
This place is utterly, fascinating… The buildings are just awesome. One after another — block after block… the next façade is more interesting than the last one. It never ends…
I kept losing my way ‘cause no street appears to be at a right angle. I’m thinking a walk around the block and the next time I look — not a clue where I am.
It’s a hustle-bustle city during rush hour and I’m ALL screwed up. Kinda like the first time in NYC…
Stepped into one intersection a bit too quick and nearly became a hood ornament. Gotta watch it — don’t think Blue Cross would do me much good here.
I cave and go for some ice cream. Across the street is some big to-do church. Had to check it out.
This old geezer of a guide talked and talked and talked and talked…
Amazing stuff however nothing you ever remember ten minutes after you walk outta the place. I bail — grab a cab, flash him the hotel card and hope he doesn’t rip me off too bad.
So I’m tooling around with this young cabbie who looks like Vin Diesel. Nice guy — very animated. He’s telling me about spending time in Santa Monica. “California women are sooooooo beautiful.” Dude, have you looked around here lately? No shortage of hot-looking women by my count…
As we’re riding around i notice this Elvis bobble head doll on the dash. It's staring back at me and bouncing around, as one would expect from a bobble head. Vin's talking about LA nightlife and I’m looking at Elvis.
Something ain't right. It’s the head. It's got white hair. Did Elvis ever have white hair? I don't think so... i mention it to the driver and he’s shocked!! He starts cursing in Hungarian... Finally he calms down then tosses me this booklet advertising some erotic whips ‘n chains kinda place.
He’ll take me there plus guarantee I’ll have super good time. I pick this up thinkin' I'll offend im otherwise. I flip thru this thing.
It’s not the pictures I react to but the super quality of the booklet and the binding — kinda stuff you’d reserve for a Cartier catalog. Business must be good but I gotta decline.
I think my cab fare went up at that moment. Anyway, he gets me back to the hotel, gives me his card and out I go…
This is ONLY the 7th time in two days the sky opens up on me. I'm told the farmers really need the rain.Fine.
Of course, Moi — 15 pairs of socks and no umbrella. I got caught in the prior six downpours but not this one. I’m snug as a bug eating my Hungarian fish soup. The last downpour had me running for cover in an art gallery. Interesting prints — one of which I might have to buy…
However, the time before that was a real gem — on top of this open-air tour bus. The day began pleasantly enough. Started out on the covered bus then jumped ship at the first stop due to the nice weather.
We did the cruising thru town — crossing the bridge, seeing the sights… up to the Buda castle on the hill.
Walk around — photo op, more
Our college student tour guide hits every historical note then makes a point how big biz hotels are screwing up the castle area with butt-ugly buildings and tourists should boycott them. Finally, some information I can use.
We cross back over the Danube and haul ass thru the Pest side of town cruising 40mph. Then the rain starts. It pours, people go for their umbrellas but the bus is moving so fast the wind turns them inside out. It is a freakin’ mess. People are getting whacked in the face — laughing, yelling, screaming…
All the while the tour guide doesn't miss a beat. She keeps yakking away. Good thing we weren't spinning in a tornado — "The building on your left — opps, your right — sorry, back on your left..."
After about 20 minutes the rain slows down and a city bus pulls along side at a light… We were sopping wet — I felt like such the moron tourist.
Our tour ends at this major government building. It looks like the same building seen from the boat when we docked so I gotta check it out. It’s kinda like our Capitol building in D.C. Nice stuff, amazin’ décor…
I understand the architect was raked over the coals for his design and died just before it was finished. Oh, and there was this ingenious cooling system using only huge blocks of ice up until 8 years ago. That’s when icehouse closed. The new modern air conditioning hasn’t worked right or as well since…
hubby is a bit of a collector and two blocks over is ground zero for antiquing. “O REALLY!" We had stuff to talk about — cars, cameras, furniture…
As the evening continues to rain and I continue pourin' down beers — instead of calling them Viennese, I start calling them Vienmese — then Vietnamese…
Hubby is feeling pretty good himself so he decides to show me the day’s “wunderbar” purchases — a collection of, still in the package, 60's & 70's panty hose.
Looking at his wife, she can't keep a straight face and just shrugs her shoulders.
She straightened up right quick when I pulled out a camera claiming I needed evidence CAUSE WHO IN THE HELL IS GONNA BELIEVE SOME GUY SHOWIN' ME HIS PANTY HOSE COLLECTION WHILE I'M EATING DINNER!!!!!
The journey continues...
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